I killed a pigeon

yes, it’s official and everybody knows about my hate, genuine terror and DISGUST for pigeons and today the moment arrived: I killed one while driving. 

at first that sudden noise and all those feathers on the windshield caused a sudden sense of CULPABILITY. no guilt, as my friend Alex underlined, just culpability. but I had to further investigate WHY it did happen and I freely felt the urge to spoke about it still INCREDULOUS.

"you faced one of your deepest fears and overcame it" the Buddhist approach that went even a step ahead: " you also practiced compassion for whatever was the cause of your fear", that is: I gained my spot in Paradise?

"think of him as good luck, as a sacrifice" a religious approach, no matter which religion.

"you did us a favor, you saved many possible lives today from the bird flu" a good hearted friend that loves me so much and went all the way.

"better than the other way around" a pragmatic approach.

the result: a catharsis. I really felt bad with the act of killing (INVOLUNTARILY). also, overall, what did a pigeon ever do to me except for shitting on my head randomly, flying as a menace against me in Piazza Duomo in Milan and trying to reach out to my ice cream or the crumbles of my pizza during al fresco dining? 

not sure the FORGIVENESS step happened yet, but may this serve as an eulogy to the poor bird. 

PS I refuse to add a picture of a pigeon.